My own drops of awesome

I know I said I was back, but life just sometimes gets in the way.  Especially when you're a single parent.  It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow that I've had to do this parent thing by myself.  There have been some good days and some bad.  I know I've been so negative for a while now and I'm really trying to see the silver lining in things.  I've been struggling for a while thinking what a failure as a mother I've been, especially when Ben is gone.  I find that my patience just isn't where it should be.  My kids drive me nuts.  All I did was yell and scream at them all day.  I didn't anything fun with them.  We didn't read scriptures, again, for that day.  All these things I think about at the end of the day.  One night, as I was going through all my failures as a mom, I felt the Spirit tell me that my Heavenly Father knows that I'm trying.  He knows that I give my best, for that day.  I felt like the Lord is proud of me and that I should always remember that he is there for me.  I am a good mother.  Then I thought of all the good things my kids do for me.  They clean up their rooms, even when I have to get after them several times, they still do it.  They give me hugs and kisses all the time, even after yelling at them.  They know that I love them.  They love me unconditionally.  Most importantly, I felt that He loves me.  Always.  He will pick up the slack.  All I can do is repent and try harder tomorrow.  I've never felt such a peace.

I recently read a blog entitled "Drops of Awesome."   Anyway, she wrote about what I had been feeling.  She had mentioned how just the little things we do as mothers should be counted as drops of awesome.  We're so hard on ourselves as women, wives, and mothers.  These little drops of awesome will uplift us and our spirits.  Here's the link to this amazing blog post.  Please read:  http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

So to all you mothers who may be struggling with your self-worth, God loves you.  He knows you're trying and doing the best you can.  He is there for you and will lift you up when you need him.  And last, but not least, find those little drop of awesome!  He believes in you, you just need to believe in yourself!

Back Again

Well I'm back.  Hopefully.  It's so hard to keep up with this blog.  I haven't been on in two years.  But I'm going to start writing again because Ben is deployed and I want some way to communicate with him and let him know what's going on with us here at home.  This deployment has been a little harder.  Not sure why.  I miss him very much and so do the kids.  We haven't been able to communicate as well  because of time difference and he's very busy.  It's a little frustrating.  I'm hoping this will give me a distraction.  I'm not writing this for sympathy.  This is just my way of explaining why I'm starting up again.  So here's to you Babe!

Family visit and a week without kids *Gasp

The week after the SLC marathon, my parents and 2 youngest siblings came to NE to visit for Easter. We had such a blast with them here. Unfortunately when they got here, they're car was acting up so the next day we had to take it to a dealer's. Apparently a mouse had made a nest in the wires and chewed some of them up. Some of you non-country folk may be disgusted with that, but when you live in the country it's really not surprising. Anyway, that took up the majority of the day but we hung out and it's always fun to just gab and chit chat. I think that night we went to the mall and let the kids play around. Then came home, ordered some yummy pizza (not Dominoes, Pizza Hut, or Little Cesaer's)The next day we went fishing. It was really cold and it took us a while to get going. But ended up being a really fun day. Before we even started I told Ben I didn't want him being disappointed if we didn't catch anything. Again, being from the country you don't fish at stocked lakes. It just doesn't happen. Well, by the end of our fishing experience, we had caught 8 fish! I caught 2 (one with my hands, I know, just call me mountain girl). Ben caught the most at 4, my dad caught 1 and Kennan (my baby bro) caught 1. The next day was Easter and we enjoyed a nice relaxing Sunday. Went to church and had a big Sunday dinner. Monday my parents packed up with my kids and left. It was weird having a quiet house. But it was nice. I was very much anticipating our cruise and the break from kids. Yes, we had 2 weeks without kids. I got to recharge my mommy battery and get some much needed rest. Ben and I went on several dates and just got to spend some time alone together. It was a nice break and I would definitely do it again. The kids had fun too and ran amuck at Nana and Papa's. They're always saying how they want to go to Nana and Papa's house or they want to see Kennan and McKenzie.

Friends and a Half Marathon

I know...you're all shocked that I finally posted right? Or not. You probably didn't even notice. I hate playing catch up so I'll post pictures and write very little. It's just easier for all of us that way. Or I might end up writing a lot. I don't know. We'll see how far I get. Ben has the kids with him (he bravely took all the kids with him to pick up our Harry Potter 7: Part II movie tickets), so I'm hoping to get a little bloggage done.

At the beginning of April we headed down to Missouri to see our good friends the Pilk's (ok, not their name, but that's the nickname we've given them....they probably hate it). We hung out withfor a couple days. We went to an amusement park called Silver Dollar City and spent the whole day there. We had such a blast and Lilli and Emma were inseparable. It was cute to watch them. We miss the Pilk's and hope to see them again soon. Megan and I are already planning annual girls' trips for us and the girls.

The next week, Ben had signed up for the SLC half marathon. It was a quick weekend trip. We stopped at my folks for a day of rest, then headed up to SLC. He ran the race and then we drove home. Ben did really well. Beat his previous time by about 10 minutes. I'm very proud of him!

Nebraska

It's been a while since I last posted. A lot has happened and it seems that a lot is yet to happen. We moved from GA to NE in January. It was so hard saying goodbye and leaving our first house. The night before the movers came, we had a big dinner and invited a few friends over. I have pictures but I don't have the energy to download them. Anyway, so now we're here. We like it. At first I hated it and wondered why we did it. When we first got here, we're talking, just drove in to town, Aidan had another seizure. He was crying and fussing and I noticed his cheeks were red. I tried giving him water but he wouldn't take it. I remember thinking I should probably take his sweater off but I didn't for whatever reason. But I know the Lord was looking out for us, because he had his seizure right as we were driving by the hospital. So we took him in and they were able to see him right then. I was a wreck. It doesn't matter how many times your child has a seizure, you're NEVER prepared for it and the reaction is the same. Panic, dread, sorrow. Just writing this I'm tearing up because I remember so vividly what he looked like and how I felt. There's nothing the dr can really do for him except watch and make sure his temperature goes down and that he doesn't have another one. But I KNOW the Lord was watching over us. Anyway, and then I got really sick. I hadn't been that sick in a long time, and we were staying at someone else's house, which is hard too. Thankfully, Ben didn't have to work and could watch the kids. Because we just wanted to get into a house, we ended up settling on military housing. We have 4 bedrooms, but about 400 sq ft less than what we were used to. It's taken some adjustment, but we're settling in well. There's no free pre-school here so we went to go get her evaluated for one. Apparently she's too advanced to qualify, which I'm grateful for but it's just, again, taken some adjusting. She's all registered for kindergarten for next year and I'm excited about that. It look like we'll be staying here at Offut for a while, which I'm grateful for. No moves anytime soon. The boys are adjusting pretty well too. There are 3-4 playgrounds right behind out house so we get to choose which one's to go to. Atleast for the one week of good weather we had. It's turned cold again and we haven't gotten out. All three kids are also sick. I think Aidan has an ear infection. We'll see today at the dr. It's been hard, but we're a family and we made it through and are STILL making it through. I'm grateful for a wonderful husband is very patient with me. Like I said, i've had a really hard time being here but it'll be ok.

April is a busy month for us. Ben leaves this week to visit family. Then next week we're meeting out good friends the Pilkington's for a few days. We're really excited about that. And then we'll have a little break and then the next week we leave for SLC. Ben's running the half marathon there. The week after that, my folks and siblings are coming here to visit us and then they're taking the kids back with them and Ben and I leave for our cruise the next week. Fast forward another week and Ben leaves for some more training. I'm way excited for all the craziness! I've had a really hard time adjusting so it'll be a nice change. Anyway, I'm hoping to be a little bit more blogger friendly and keep posts updated. hahahaha We'll see how that goes.

2010-2011

I've got so much catching up to do, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. So this is going to be a quick rundown. Ben got home at the beginning of November. It was amazing! He surprised me, which was awesome! It's been an adjustment having him home, but I'm SO GLAD he's home. Thanksgiving we celebrated with some good friends. We had a great time. We had a mini celebration for Ben's birthday. He turned the big 3-0. And he's still hot! We decided for Christmas we would DRIVE out West to his folks' house. We left December 15th, expecting a short drive to Nashville. A 6 hour drive turned into a 12 hour drive due to an accident on I-75. We sat still, not moving, for 7 hours. It was late at night, and kids weren't sleeping. We got into a motel that morning at 5 am, slept for 5 hours and then hit the road again. Over all, the traveling was great. We stopped at my folks' for a day and then headed up to Washington to celebrate with Ben's folks. It was so fun! All the kids were there and it was just great spending time up there. Then we drove to my folks' house and spent time there, brought in the new year. And then started the trek back to Georgia. We had family for a couple of stops, so that was great. I finally met Ben's Grandma Eastman and his "Aunt" Julie. They're great. They live in Omaha, which is where we'll be moving here in a couple of weeks. I'm so so excited, but I'm really really sad. We have so many great friends here in Georgia who've become like family. I will miss the South, but ready to be closer to family, especially with Ben deploying again. I'm looking forward to a great 2011. We're going on our first cruise together in May. We're moving closer to family. It's going to be an exciting year! I'll TRY to post pictures here.......ok....that's a lie....I'm not going to. I've got more important stuff to do.....like getting ready to move. But once we're settled, I'll post pictures......maybe....if I remember..........we'll see.

Family Pics of 2010

My friend April is a fantastic photographer. We went downtown in Augusta and she took our family pictures. I thought they turned out great (even though the kids were not cooperating and stressing me out). Thanks April! We love them!

Click here to see some of them.

My Super Cute Kids

When I was in Cokeville, I had my super awesome, totally amazing sister BRE take some pictures of the kids. And even though she is taking FOREVER to edit the pictures, I still love her and forgive her, and will not mention it again, because I know that she is busy and that she will get them to me someday.

But I just wanted to share how cute the pictures turned out, of course it isn't hard when these kids are so freakin' cute! Here are just a few. You can see more on her facebook fan page. (and feel free to become a fan while you're there!)

Aren't they the cutest? I sure think so....

Disclaimer: this post was NOT written by my super awesome, totally amazing younger sister BRE. BUT...if it was, I'm sure she would want you to know that she loves me and ben, and these super cute kiddos lots and lots and lots, and she thinks that we should come visit her really soon! And she is really glad that Ben is home safe and sound, and glad that I haven't given my children away when they get crazy. (not that she really thinks I would....but still!) And I would not get mad at her for posting on my blog. The end!

Have a great day everyone!

Halloween 2010

We went to our ward trunk or treat Saturday night. There were so many people there and my kids got tons of candy. Then I took the kids trick or treating and got even more candy. Plus, Lilli got tons of candy from her party at school. Tonight I ate 7 pieces of candy. I'm all candied out (for the day). The kids were cute though. Lilli was a fairy, Alex was Yoda, and Aidan was Superman. We weren't going for a theme, obviously. Mom was going for easy. What can I say! When you're by yourself, you do what's easiest. I guess you could say I dressed up as a half marathon runner??

Half Marathon

I wanted to post about this because it's so fresh on my mind. Saturady I ran my first half marathon. My friend Katie and I drove up to Greenville, SC Friday. I'm so glad she came. We had so much fun and I wouldn't have enjoyed myself as much. The kids stayed at friends' houses. Anyway, we got to Greenville at around 7pm and hurried and went to go pick up my packet then we went to Olive Garden. Nothing like stuffing your face with delicious breadsticks, salad, and pasta. We got lost getting back to the motel, but finally made it. I wasn't really nervous. I wasn't racing anybody and my goal was to finish the race. I started at the front of the pack, which now I know, is something you don't do when your a beginner. I got passed so quickly it was a bit discouraging. But then, there were a ton of people who were still behind me, so it wasn't too bad. Anyway, it was pretty chilly that morning and as we were waiting for the race to start, some dude was dancing in a costume to some crazy music. It was weird and pointless. We just wanted the race to start.

It was the longest race of my life. And I really did enjoy it except that my leg was hurting me so bad. I was doing really good up until about mile 5 and that's when my leg started hurting. I had to keep walking and it was so disappointing. But I did it. I don't know that I'll run another one anytime soon, but I probably will run another one. I was in so much pain Saturday and Sunday but I'm not as sore today. I've really enjoyed my running experience, minus the pain and I want to continue doing it. I feel good and I've accomplished my goal! Thanks to all those who helped along the way.

When i got home to pick up my kids, my friend had made t-shirts for the my kids that said Team Mommy and then Team Shari shirts for her and a couple of other friends. It was so nice and so fun to see, since none of them could come up there with me. I had a great time and I'm glad that my friend Katie could come with me. It wouldn't have been as much fun going by myself.

Our lives (in a nutshell)

I'm feeling a bit negative today, so this will be short and to the point. Of course, whenever I start a post (with no pictures) I always say I'm going to keep it short, but it rarely is. But I'll try.

Still don't know when Ben's coming home (thus the reason for my grumpy mood). Sometime here in the next couple of week, so that's good. My half marathon is a week from tomorrow. I'm nervous but just ready to get it over with. It's been fun pushing my body beyond what I thought I could ever do. 4-5 miles is nothing now!

Ben's hangin' in there like me. Just taking things one day at a time, but he's definitely ready to be home as well. 10 months is a long time to be away from your family.

Lilli loves preschool and all her friends and teachers. She's so excited to go everyday. She's getting anxious for daddy to come home and says that they're going to go to a movie in the temple movie theatre (she thinks the movie theatre looks like a temple) and get popcorn. She's learning so much and loves to write letters and spell words and draws awesome pictures. She's a great big sister and loves her brothers. She's taking ballet right now and loves it.

Alex and Aidan are getting so active. They get into everything and constantly pester each other. But also play really well together. My favorite thing is to hear them try to make each other laugh. It's the best! They're growing like weeds. Ben's not even going to know what to do with them. Alex loves to wrestle and whenever I lay on the ground he always has to jump on me. Aidan still sucks his thumb. I'm not too worried about it now. They love to say their prayers and I love helping them. It's too cute.

Well, that's it in a nutshell. I'll post some recent pictures and posts of what we've been up to.

Feeling Sorry for Myself

These past couple of days have been hard. Like "I totally lost it at my kids and cried and screamed at them" hard. After church today I got to thinking about life and how really truly blessed I am. It's so easy for me to feel sorry for myself and my situation. My husband's deployed, I have 2 very active twin boys who get into everything, I have a daughter who is 4 going on 16, I'm selling the house and have to keep it clean. So many things are rough, but so many things are awesome. I have a daughter who can write her name, and even though she decided to write her name on her white door and blamed it on Aidan, I love that she knows how to do it. I'm so proud of her! I have 2 rambunctious, crazy little dudes, and even though they managed to poor the dog's water and food all over the kitchen floor, dump Gatorade all over the carpet, break a big glass bowl within 10 minutes of each other, I'm so glad they are healthy, running around yelling for "mom". I'm grateful for a supportive husband, who, even though he's far away, knows just how to make me feel better and let's me vent my frustration without passing judgement. He loves me unconditionally and is excited when I'm excited, sad when I'm sad, and happy when I'm happy. I'm grateful to be married to him and can't wait for him to be home. We don't have too much longer apart and I'm so looking forward to our reunion. I have a healthy body. I'm running a half marathon! I ran 7 miles yesterday and it was freakin' awesome! I never thought I would WANT to run that much. I have a beautiful house, and even though it's such a pain to always TRY to keep it clean, I'm grateful that we have a place to live. I have awesome friends. They're always helping me out, willingly taking my kids, babysitting them and just helping where they can. I have an awesome family, both Ben and mine. I love them all. And most importantly, I am a member of the true Gospel. I love my church and am so grateful to a Heavenly Father for all that I have. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I wanted to post the many things I have to be grateful for. I'm truly blessed.

Playing catch up........

Lilli's first day of school

Only 6 of the 23 people in my class showed up for our 10 year high school reunion with their families. It was fun but I wish that more people would have come.

Lilli burnt her marshmallow, can you tell she's disgusted.

All of us in our 4th of July outfits.

I really can't remember where I left off (before the whole Lilli cut her hair........AGAIN), so I'm just going to post some pictures and write about what we've been up to lately. This more for Ben (and journal purposes) than anyone/anything, so bear with me.

We're back in Georgia now. We had a blast back West with family. After visiting Ben's family, we got back and had about 1 month left with my family. We definitely made the most of it. We went and had dinner up in the mountains, went camping for a night, and went to Bear Lake. I had my 10 year high school class reunion. Myself and my friend, Katie, planned it. We just did a dinner. Nothing huge and I'm glad because only 6 people showed up out of 23. It was a lot of fun catching up with all of them. Some I haven't seen since graduation. It was great! We also were there for the Pioneer Celebration. My little town has a parade, a program where Elder Perry and some other general authority speaks at, and then activities all day, like a rodeo, flag football, soft ball. I took Lilli to the rodeo. She didn't get in to it so we left after a while. Anyway, we had a great time.

And then we came back to Georgia. My mom came with, and I'm so glad she did. We spent the week and a half she was here getting the house ready to sell. Now I'm just trying to keep it that way! We're adjusting all right though. Getting back in to a routine. Lilli had her first day of Pre-K on Monday. It was a bitter-sweet thing. She's loving it and that makes me happy. She looked so cute and little. I love her. She's still a crack up and is always mothering her little brothers. But they sure do love her. She really misses her daddy and is lashing out at me. I'm really trying to be patient and understanding but it's really hard.

The boys are getting so big and growing big personalities. Alex has quite the temper but is very loving too. Aidan is funny. When I ask him a question and he want it, he says, "ah" for yeah. It's so cute. love them! Both of them!

I've started my half marathon training on Tuesday. I've gone to the gym everyday and it's been fun to get back into it again. Ben's doing good as well. We get to do skype about once a day and video once a week, sometimes more sometimes less. He's been having a hard time missing us, but it's making the most of his situation. He's also training for a half marathon and is also busy with work. It seems that's all he does. He's constantly changing shifts. We've only got 2.5 half more months left. I feel like I can do this. We can do this.

That's our life in a nutshell, from the last 4 months. I feel like I'm caught up. so I'm good for another 4 months. hahaha Just kidding. We're all safe and doing well. Missing family, but we're hanging in there.

Haircut..........again

The other morning I woke up to find that Lilli had cut her hair..........................again!! When I had come up the stairs I called for Lilli and she come in from the living room all sneaky so I knew something was wrong. That and the fact that she said, "You can't see." But when I glanced into the living room I didn't see anything so I just thought it was weird she would say that. Then....I looked at her hair! I wanted to cry and yet I found it quite funny. She had cut her little pony tail off and cut her hair in a mullet.......again. I sent her down to her room, after getting after her, and then my mom and I laughed so hard! What else could we do! Anyway, we went and got her haircut and the lady really did a good job. Once I figured out how to do it, it can be pretty cute. But it can be pretty ugly too, and that when I don't do it. She's still a cute girl, but I do not like it short. Ben was pretty sad, but it's just hair right? What would you do if you're little girl cut her hair.........twice???

Seattle Aquarium and the Duck Ride

Aunt Paula and Lilli

Aidan with Grandpa

Us in front of the aquarium. The boys were more fascinated with the fountain.

Day 2 of our Seattle trip we went to the aquarium. The boys really liked it. It was a bit more interactive for them. I didn't get any pictures inside. It was really small but just right for the kids. After the aquarium, we went to the farmer's market they have there. We got the best homemade mac & cheese and saw the fish being thrown. It was so fun! I wish we could have spent more time there. Then we went to the community center (I can't remember what it's called) where they have carnival rides and a big After that, we went on a "duck" ride. You get an interactive tour of Seattle and all it's famous sites in an old WWII military vehicle that goes both on land and in the water. It was so much fun! Alex loved it and Lilli had fun dancing with the music that was played. If you're ever in Seattle, definitely go on the duck ride. It's so worth it. We were all a bit grouchy before, but perked up after. It was so fun!

The rest of our stay with Ben's family was so much fun. My brain is not functioning right now, so I'm not going to write everything we did but we had so much fun! Oh we also got to see our friends the Brimhall's. They were in Georgia for a bit and are now in Washington. We haven't seen them in over a year, but it was a bummer because the kids had been sleeping and were really cranky when I woke them up to see them. I felt really bad! But it was good seeing them anyway.

We had dinners at my sisters-in-law houses, went shopping, got spoiled, and just had a great time! We're definitely looking forward to our stay over Christmas. I think I've convinced them all to run a 5K race as a family. I think it'll be a lot of fun! Anyway, we were sad to say goodbye but are looking forward to December when we'll ALL be there! Thanks for a fun stay Mama and Papa D (and all the fam)! We love and miss you all!

Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle, WA

Tired boys! You can see Alex is tired, but he just would not close his eyes. Too much to see!

Lilli was so fascinated with this peacock. Actually, we ALL were fascinated by it. It was beautiful.

Alex and Aunt Mona

Obviously you can see, the boys DID NOT want to be held.

Aidan with Aunt Mona

Alex with Grandpa

While we were in Seattle, we went to the zoo there. The boys shoes kept falling off so it was hard to just let them run around, but they still had fun.....I think. They were also pretty tired, and it was quite a struggle to get them to sleep. Aidan slept, but I don't think Alex did the whole day. If there's something going on, he just can't miss it. Sometimes it's annoying. The whole family was there except for one of Ben's sisters and her husband, and his brother and his family. I wish we all could have been together. Anyway, Lilli had a blast and it was so much fun just spending the day together as a family.