I know I said I was back, but life just sometimes gets in the way. Especially when you're a single parent. It'll be 2 weeks tomorrow that I've had to do this parent thing by myself. There have been some good days and some bad. I know I've been so negative for a while now and I'm really trying to see the silver lining in things. I've been struggling for a while thinking what a failure as a mother I've been, especially when Ben is gone. I find that my patience just isn't where it should be. My kids drive me nuts. All I did was yell and scream at them all day. I didn't anything fun with them. We didn't read scriptures, again, for that day. All these things I think about at the end of the day. One night, as I was going through all my failures as a mom, I felt the Spirit tell me that my Heavenly Father knows that I'm trying. He knows that I give my best, for that day. I felt like the Lord is proud of me and that I should always remember that he is there for me. I am a good mother. Then I thought of all the good things my kids do for me. They clean up their rooms, even when I have to get after them several times, they still do it. They give me hugs and kisses all the time, even after yelling at them. They know that I love them. They love me unconditionally. Most importantly, I felt that He loves me. Always. He will pick up the slack. All I can do is repent and try harder tomorrow. I've never felt such a peace.
I recently read a blog entitled "Drops of Awesome." Anyway, she wrote about what I had been feeling. She had mentioned how just the little things we do as mothers should be counted as drops of awesome. We're so hard on ourselves as women, wives, and mothers. These little drops of awesome will uplift us and our spirits. Here's the link to this amazing blog post. Please read: http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/
So to all you mothers who may be struggling with your self-worth, God loves you. He knows you're trying and doing the best you can. He is there for you and will lift you up when you need him. And last, but not least, find those little drop of awesome! He believes in you, you just need to believe in yourself!